Mindfulness for Separating Confusion Form reality and Conquering the Bully

brown squirrel

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Author: Adrian Anderson

Published 24 January 2019

Since realising what it really means to be mindful, there is the opening of a new humble mind path. A path that has guided me and led to the discovery to the fact that; the mind can be misused, abused and be void of compassionate images. And that habitual thoughts are renewable and exchangable, even repairable with adjustment to their frequency. We can  pay dearly to learn and this includes paying an expert. We are experts at our thoughts and the word of God converted to thoughts is still the greatest. There is no sacrifice without a gain. Even by swapping the white images of God for more realistic black images, still work well with his words. This is a simple reasoing skill we were taught at school to pick the odd one out.  Before our suffering journeys there was a time when the images were all black or all white and all right. This is not the case anymore since we discover the beauty of diversity. In discovering diversity we have come to find the synergy of different flowers growing together with a few weed. To become mindful of the need to sacrifice shame adjusted the bravado with pride and recovery of some humility as a responsibility so minds can again access its vulnerability to being updated. There can be no mindfulness without a safe mind.

Imagine going on a journey that is full of wonerful scenery and you will only be passing this way once so you have to capture every possible moment, within your memory’s capictiy. Every moment within your moment by moment for your database. Without shame in the way of the view and others taking avdantage and ssying that you are bad and the view is bad. Being able to experience, endure and observe the effects of self-criticism and others criticising while staying mindful in experiencing the different worlds that we can exist in was an awakening. Not being mindful is the equivalent is the denial of all aspect of ourselves and is detrimental to our mental health and wellbeing and that of others. Critical responses and self-criticism bruises and batters the mind and the spirit. This quickly convert reasonably good mood into depression and anxiety with a loss of energy, gratitude and oneness.

Using a mindful interventions to ground the self into the present, and reflect on the experience while bathing in compassion was the only solutions for recovery of my mood. The mindfulness interventions gave my mind the break it deserved and alleviate suffering of the wounds that were self inflicted.

I have come to realise that due to the mind’s receptive nature it can be written upon with words of kindness and compassion or criticism and unkindness spoken into it by itself or through the images that it sees in its world. It is always in agreement with what is communicated to it and it wills what it a hears. It ponders to the commands from negative or positive self talk or compassionate feedback. This strengthens the concept that, mindfulness is, holding a mind in the consciousness of the here and now moment by moment. How the mind is held will determine if it will lose or gain consciousness. If held to tightly the mind will be strangled, if held too loosely it loses control and balance. The observation then is that, the mind can be tamed in how it responds to unkindness, criticism and suffering.

The mind has to be retrained to be present focused in the same way our breathing can be trained to respire harmony. When we train the mind and our breathing to be in oneness and grounded we can then achieve inspiration and space for creativity and enhanced mental capacity. We must retrain our breathing and our mind to give our body the recovery it needs from its distress. Correct breathing liberates and animates the spirit that is held captive by the lack of inspiration and an imbalance respiration. The retraining and realigning of breath, and mind, harmonises and liberates the spirit and reduce the intensity and frequency of distress on the body. The experiences thereby improve clarity, clear confusion and gives us the space to see, feel, hear and experience what is means to be human and enhances the potential to reduced human suffering. This is where true compassion, kindness, forgiveness, appreciation for the suffering on the journey of life is required to hold the gains of recovery and let go of the loses of the past.

Coming into the beginning of and the clearer seeing of suffering and what it means to be human is a double bind. On one hand there is clarity that from confusion in the mind, the separation of the past present and future, the separation compartmentalising of suffering, reduced distress, improvement, hope and progress and recovery. On the other side of the bind is impacting of observing suffering. The more visible the suffering the greater the requirement to for the realisation that is the norm it is acceptable as part of the human experience. There is the need for understanding that it can be difficult to manage but has to be managed to prevent compassion fatigue due to the vicarious nature or the impact of second-hand suffering. Additionally we have to develop the skill of determine where our suffering starts and ends and where other suffering begins and end. We must know what is our suffering and what is not and how to treat both. Being mindful is vital to ensure the right responsibility for the right suffering and the right amount of compassion to be clear and free from confusion.

On another level, we must identify and treat the self bully and the bullies of the past when we find them to end or reduce the suffering. When realise that we are safe now, to be and become who we are and do our best. We can then, make new agreements with ourselves inside and outside and reject old contracts we made with our bullies and others and feel at peace in our different worlds. The risk then is that we will go back to old habits of mind, unhelpful focus or our mental energies to the past and the future, and miss the present and restart our personal suffering. With new knowledge we can no longer practice the old prejudices. We are no longer the self bully with mindfulness and will not allow unnecessary suffering to our true selves. If you can stand up to your bully you can stand up to the bully in others. With mindfulness practices we can then realise that our mind is or was choking and letting go has now allowed for our breathing and to be in spirit, inspired and creative.

If we can’t train our minds, lets plan to train a pet. From this plan and our experience, our observation and the reflections, remodel this with our mind. Lets hope that we will now realise that we will never intentionally go back and never run too far in future. Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery today is the present, the gift, let us unwrap it with love, harmony, PEACE, kindness compassion at the least to maintain mindfulness and clarity and release confusion.

Part of my treatment plan as a Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist is to offer client and patients a course of training that is self-compassion and other compassion focused focused to start the awareness at first stage. The interventions help them to acquire and develop skills required spot and stop self and other criticism, to beat the mind and other bully that has treminated and stayed resident in not just some of us but all of us mind. We then look at the consequences of self and other abuse as well as the consequences of years of denying ourselves. Often the self denial comes from the need to address the deficits in attention, recognition, stimulation and certainty and to avoid the rejection of others. This can take as little as 3 sessions or longer depending on the motivation of the learner. The interventions help them to acquire and develop skills required spot and stop self and other criticism, to beat the mind and other bully that has treminated and stayed resident in not just some of us but all of us mind. This can take as little as 3 sessions or longer depending on the motivation of the learner or how loud the critical vioce might get. The beauty is that I am not asking other to do something that I have not done to addresd my challenges from within to be without shame and self criticism. Sitting mindfully and being and observer has allowed me to discover four new agreements. I am excited and will share these in the next piece for continuity. Leave you comments and feedback, nuff respect and thanks for reading.