Author: Adrian Anderson
As we progress the philosophy is now shaping up to what we need the dream to be, a kind of Dr Martin Luther King dream thing.
Our thinking about humanity can be shaped by our experience of getting it wrong in human imperfections. Especially if we focus too much from the differences that make us different and in the common thread called humanity. There is usefulness in functioning from the deficit position too. We can be more aware if our thinking is focused on what is unique and similar about being human.
We might not achieve as much in the effort to achieve mental wealth, if we work on being blacker, whiter, browner, more manly, more Christian or more political, these aspects are all vital to fulfilling our human needs. If we work on the human aspects, we can work more collaboratively on reducing human suffering. Its even more apt to define our human identity.
A philosophy driven by the need to reclaim the meaning of being human is vital in such instances. The focus is aimed at working to being, becoming and belonging to this world or a group, with the least painful existence and freedom from suffering in at least our physical and mental wealth through acceptance. We must seek our wealth with the awareness and acceptance that pain cannot be totally eliminated, in order to prevent the experience of failure, when we did not stop the real or perceived suffering. That is not an apology for who we are or a short slightness, we are just shifting to a position of being human first then observing what happens next with this new consciousness.
Taking The Responsibility
We must first understand and accept responsibility for tackling our suffering, or we will never be able to conceive the suffering of others or understand what is needed to alleviate this common factor rippling through humanity. Suffering seems to be vital to human growth and development. So we might suffer to learn, but not experience the same suffering without changing our behaviours and thinking as a result of ours or other’s suffering even our world’s suffering, that is madness.
So let us start with us, here we go.
“In the absence of compassion, there is the presence of greater suffering”
Before reading further, if you think you will find it useful, answer this question. “Are you suffering or have suffered personally, or because others in your family or social system is suffering?” Write down your answer, it will be so much more real in writing, unless you are not ready to accept. If your answer is “no,” there is an absence of suffering, you are numb, in denial or something else. Write “numbness” as the first item on your list. Please seek help as the numbness will only get worse and it is contagious and depreciate the mental and other wealth and suppresses the animation of spirit.
You will not respond well to what needs to be said that is hidden in the unspoken world about suffering. You might be causing yourself and others suffering and is not aware if you so numb or unaware of this norm. Warmth is crucial to our vibration and to keep our energy in emotion and prevent depression.
A Perspective on The Reality of Suffering
Real suffering is a taboo topic. It is a topic we must contemplate either together or in our own company. If we talk about it alone we might experience change on a small-scale, together we will achieve much more, and we will start some healing or alleviating and less likely to be fatigued from a lack of self and other compassion.
We are suffering, our children are suffering as those before us suffered. Our suffering is not unique to our ancestors, us, or our children. It would appear that, with our current awareness, numbness and suffering will be the inheritance of our children’s children. Suffering has terminated and remained resident in our DNA and human systems without an acceptance of it dire consequences to madness. Please don’t ask me for evidence without first looking within, then right in front of our eyes, at our children and in our community.
There is never a good reason to minimise, dismiss or deny suffering, side-lines acceptance of, and normalise the true cost of suffering in an unhealthy way. These behaviours perpetuate the problem and allow the cause to go unchallenged. “I know I am suffering,” just from the vicarious impact of looking at what is happening to our children who are; unable to access early mental health interventions, are excluded from schools, held in social care settings, imprisoned, impacted by domestic violence and or abuse, neglect, to be brief. At its worse, it is the sons killing the sons in the street. Even more excruciating is the loss children experience due to “the suffering.” Let us convert suffering to a thing, an object so we can face it from outside of us. Children lose their childhood, their opportunities to achieve, enjoy, master, experience closeness with their peers and become self-actualising adults and again, their emotional, physical, psychological, spiritual and mental wealth. They then transition into adulthood impacted by these losses and on and on the sphere keep rolling from one generation to the next. That is another part of the madness we are seeing an unwelcome addition to our suffering.
How We Can Reduce The Thing
We not seeking to reduce that suffering with sympathy but through compassion – that recognition and clear seeing of suffering, feeling of kindness for others who are suffering, so that desire to help comes forth within us.
One way to reduce the suffering, we must break the silence, to eliminate the shame that comes with accepting or admitting that we are suffering, individually and on a systemic level. Shame in suffering requires secrecy, silence and the fear of judgement that we are weak to survive. We might believe that if we speak we will expose the group or systemic shame and we will be isolated or eliminated from the fold. If we stand for nothing we will fall for anything and not learn or change the cause of our suffering. Suffering is also experienced even in the crevices that we seek relief with our beliefs. We will be creating one more reason to be anxious just by sitting with inaction in our bellies and not say what we must say. Just holding up our hands and when we are suffering and shouting “no more, I am human!!” can be most empowering and challenging for power or negative influence we are facing.
Try It Before You Believe It
Just pause for a moment from reading and say to yourself “I am suffering because….. our children are suffering, because….. our community is suffering because of a multiple of choices. Now say no more !!” We might be suffering because:
A. We are not sure how to stop the power and control help over our mind, body and spirit by a person or the imbalance of a system even if it’s a family system.
B. People suffered before us and they survived but did not live and we are striving without time for accepting and appreciating life.
C. Because of our treatment towards each other when we feel the pain of our suffering. Hurt people hurt people.
D. Because our children are killing our children and we have children and we are suffering from fear of another loss.
E. Other people’s behaviour towards us is affecting and we are not standing up to say no more
F. If we tell someone “I am” suffering I will be seen as a weak and ashamed and we rather suffer in shame as a boasty sufferer as we call it in Jamaica.
G. Because if we speak up we will cause problems and they will banish me or punish me.
H. Because of our past experiences in relationships that we have not overcome
I. Because our ancestors have, we still are and our children and children’s children will unless there is a miracle.
K. Because we chose to become invisible to cope in secret and silence due to the lack of appropriate recognition, environmental stimulation and uncertainty about the next moment and our future.
Sorry, I was just getting carried away with my fantasies about answers to reasons we are suffering.
Speaking About “It” to Make its Power Less
If we do not learn to say out loud to ourselves, each other, our community and the world that we are suffering when we notice we are, the thing called suffering won’t stop. It will continue to eat at our mental health as it did our fore parents, it will get us now in the present and it will seep deeper into our bloodline and be transmitted to our children and our children’s children.
We will put on a bravado, weeping on the inside while acting boast on the outside. We will continue to mingle in shame while keeping our suffering in silence and become delusional with thoughts that “no one can see my suffering” everyone else is seeing the wound weeping. There is more power in the words “we are suffering” to stop traffic, stop minds, stop our squeezing of each other breaking down valuable relationship. If there is a perpetrator of suffering they will realise that you are awake. Saying we are suffering and it must stop is not the same as saying I am weak, it is saying I am no longer willing to be a victim, it says I have found the words to be resourceful and you can positively assert yourself.